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November is tired and wants to be left alone
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Sometimes the battle between your inner and outer self is so intense it messes you up completely. Depending on who wins the daily battle, the public will either remain oblivious or begin to draw conclusions. A small shift in emotions can be the reason you start questioning your sanity or have a eureka moment. In November, I was socially exhausted.

The month started okay-ish; there was a visit to a grand-aunt and some alone time with my mum. Then I left for Minna where I had a great time with my desserts and also attended devfest Minna. I had a cool time catching up with people I haven't seen in a while, connected with family and even got to play city guide for a day. I completely forgot the tiny book I brought along to journal in. On my way to Minna, I managed to do a little hobbying with my crochet kit and made a scrunchie. I couldn't complete the book I took though.

Looking back, the day I returned from Suleja was the last non-conflicting day I had in November that I can remember. I began to get really irritable and lashing out. I even confused myself. In the midst of that, I lost a grandma and that further plummeted my mood and my emotions. Eventually, I concluded that I was "socially exhausted". I don't even know if that's a thing but I feel I peopled too hard and my whole self is tired. If I'm being honest this year was very social for me and maybe it's coming to bite me back. I found myself contemplating canceling everything social but then the events left are actual events I look forward to. So in as much as I was having trepidations about attending devfest Abuja, I had to put on my big girl shoes and step out because staying at home in my opinion would have put me on a downward slope.

One of the great things that came from me procrastinating this month, either productively or otherwise, is the realization that I have unconsciously developed some habits that I would need to start actively trying to stop and I don't even want to make it a resolution because it needs to start now. I won't go deep into it but sometimes a person realizes they are losing their individuality and that in my opinion is not good. Really the last quarter has been a battle between my Introverted and Extroverted self and the Extrovert won 80% of the time but I'm exhausted so maybe next year we should try skewing in the Introvert's favour or at least try to be as selfish and frank as I can.

The last days of November were a combo of wanted and unwanted tasks. I finally got a date for my defense and even though I was kinda hoping it wasn't close, it's in December and I might as well get it over with even though that will not mark the end of my work since I've been entangled with some stuff related to my project that I could have done without. I was also able to add comments to this blog or whatever it is 👀. Leave your comments let's test together (it worked on my machine sha 🥲).

The last weekend of November was for devfest. If I'm being honest I really didn't want to go. My only motivation was being with friends. I enjoyed myself though and that's all that matters at the end of the day even though my nightfall, I was just extremely exhausted and for all my talk about social exhaustion, I still decided to go for another devfest 😅.

Even though the review date says 2nd December (because that's when I started), I'm completing it on the 5th; why? I don't know. Battling procrastination and keeping your word isn't actually that hard but it is sort of exhausting and can mess around with your mood especially if you're the type of person that loses motivation very quickly. That's about it for my TIRED MONTH OF EMOTIONAL TUG OF WAR