“February is the shortest month of the year, so if you are having a miserable month, try to schedule it for February.” - Lemony Snicket.

It's too early to feel confused in the year but I feel every year has a new year fever withdrawal month and that month is february. There really isn't anything eventful about this month and for that reason I really didn't want to write a monthly review because how else do I write nothing. The highlight of my month involves a series of decisions that I am desperately hoping and praying turns out right.

I entered into an everything slump where I was not even motivated to enjoy my hobbies, as weird as it sounds I wasn't actually experiencing negative emotions; I would rather explain it as combining a positive number and a negative number +10 + (-10). Trust me to explain something in a weird way, though that is genuinely how I felt. A state of perfect 0. Earlier in the month I went out and enjoyed myself with a blue moon friend which was honestly one of the highest points of the month. it happened too early in the month though and the residual excitement didn't last long. I found out where the national library was located in Abuja and planned a visit but it turns out google maps was wrong, they don't open on saturdays and I lost that plan. I don't know when I will ever feel up to going again because the vibes have fallen.

By the middle of the month, I managed to experience a series of unfortunate events all in one Friday, I almost got picked by the wrong uber which gave serious kidnapping vibes. I am afraid to think about what would have happened if I didn't compare the plates or alert people around me. The relief I felt when people came to my aid was so strong, I almost started crying. On the same day, my commute back home was the most stressful because two passengers kept fighting for over 50% of the commute which was unbearable after everything that had happened to me. To cap it off, I left my phone in the car and almost lost it. So yeah, mid month decided to mess with my BP. As expected, my motivation plummeted even more and I got more confused.

The rest of the month is basically a blur of me trying and failing to buck up and be more productive. I don't think I have ever been afraid of my being like I was last month. Things took a better turn towards the first week of March and I realized what I needed was a challenge and I finally got one. It really perked me up. I'm writing this in march on International Women's day because I finally got that motivation and time to do it which is why I can talk about the first week of march.

February was particularly mundane and bland but I did pick up a bit of self awareness and for that I am proud. I can't say it was a great one but at least I have figured out the reason I was so unmotivated and I'll take that as my achievement. As usual, I'll try to keep up my streak and hope it won't be a week late like this Uneventful Eventful February.