Cloaking contradictions
Mimicking normalcy
A waxing gibbous among full moons

Against all expectations, January this year was the fastest and biggest one I've experienced in a while. It really didn't feel like January, it was brighter than most with little to no December withdrawals. This I think is largely due to the fact that everybody and their sisters decided to get married before Ramadan and since that's possibly in March, humans (including the ones I know) are all running to the mosques.

I started the year like most people do, reviewing last year and setting goals but definitely no resolutions. I tried being aesthetic and designing a new page in my journal but let's just say I have limited design skills and will stick to coloring. My goals are a combination of big and small and also possibly impossible goals that I added for gags and dramatic effect. I like mixing them up as a possible joke for the end of the year. Poetic, I know 🌚.

Attending a wedding every other week gave little to no time for moping around except maybe the really drained feeling after peopling for a while. I went to the first wedding on my list a few days before my birthday and had a great time. I caught up with friends, took pictures and danced (Yes, I can dance, argue with a mirror 😒). On my birthday, I had the weirdest mix of emotions ever because of the decades I've spent so far, I don't think I've ever felt this appreciated. I got several material and non-material gifts and a long document titled "World's DeeDee's day" that made me bawl (You know who you are and I love you 3000). it is pleasantly weird how every year on my birthday, I discover new things about myself and the gifts tend to have related themes almost like my friends have a meeting before getting me gifts.

After the peaceful birthday, I attended a social event that wasn't related to books or a wedding (social butterfly who? 😌). It was a "Cake and Sip" which basically involved decorating a cake, eating and having lots of random fun. At one point it became a mini karaoke and at the end of the day, we got to go home with the cake and a large gift basket. I ate so much that I had to skip dinner. A wonderful day with girls and pink cakes.

As life usually is, The upward cruise of emotions crashed immediately on a random evening by 6pm. I had a short call with a family member that left me painfully misunderstood and angry at myself for being patient but 🫠 that's just how life is sometimes and you just have to suck it up and be an "Adult".

For those of you that remember *(she said trying to sound cool and noticed 👀)*I have been toying with starting my knitting hobby and I am glad to say that I have finally started. I plan on knitting and crocheting a few items like blankets, flowers, maybe even a bag. I already tested my skills with a scrunchie and a dish cloth. I am currently knitting a blanket and all I can say is that the price for handmade items are very valid and they need to start selling longer yarn lengths in Nigeria because I shouldn't have to order 5 or 10 yarns because I'm afraid that color would be sold out.

On additional hobby news, I'm trying out gardening. I started last year in November with mint that got all dried up earlier this month. It's barely surviving at the moment but I've been told that this isn't it's best season so I'll manage it till warmer days arrive. I also planted two bulbs of garlic, they're looking droopy but still green. I'm realizing gardening is a very peaceful hobby but it requires some routine and planning which I should hopefully be able to maintain.

The last weekends of January were also wedding filled, my fav was my aunt's wedding. I had a great time with my family, taking pictures and being goofy. The funny thing was that I was quite reluctant to travel but once I got there I became so invested in it.

This month certainly did not meet my expectations and I'm glad for that. I can honestly say I loved it despite some darker days. I found out a lot about myself and the gestures I enjoy. Even though I've now found out that receiving gifts are both scary and extremely exciting which has also made me realize I have a very "Sheldon" approach to the matter of gift giving, even though I have enough common emotional intelligence to know how impossible that is.

At the end of the day, January was a BIPOLAR MONTH OF SILENT DIFFERENCES.